The Problem of Sobriety

Why Sober Communities Are So Important

With the exception of raising my two amazing daughters, getting and staying sober is the greatest accomplishment of my career and my life — and it’s not even close.

I’ve written three books published by Simon & Schuster, built and sold two companies, won major industry awards for my design work, and even completed five Spartan races. But none of that compares to the sense of pride I feel from not drinking for the last 971 days. Sobriety is my proudest achievement, so much so that I write about it every week in this newsletter.

But sobriety comes with a strange and unexpected problem — one that many of us face as we navigate life alcohol-free.

Why Sobriety Feels Both Ordinary and Extraordinary

Here’s the thing about sobriety: it’s just me doing what I’m supposed to do. I’m maintaining a healthy relationship with alcohol — or rather, avoiding it altogether. To someone who hasn’t struggled with addiction, that might not sound like much. And I don’t blame them for that. From the outside, not drinking might seem as unremarkable as brushing your teeth or eating your vegetables.

But for those of us who’ve been in the grips of addiction, sobriety is extraordinary. Choosing not to drink, day after day, takes monumental strength. It requires confronting every uncomfortable emotion and stressful situation without the escape we used to turn to. It’s about living fully, even when life gets hard. And it’s not easy.

I think back to Eddie Murphy’s old comedy routine about dads who brag, “I take care of my kids!” The joke was that they were boasting about something they were supposed to do. Sobriety feels a little like that sometimes. From a societal standpoint, I’m just being a normal, responsible adult. Big deal, right? But for me, it is a big deal. Sobriety isn’t just doing what I’m supposed to do — it’s doing something I once thought was impossible.

The Silent Triumph of Sobriety

When I quit drinking, I had to learn how to celebrate myself, because not everyone around me understood what I was going through. My non-sober friends and family love me and support me, but they don’t fully grasp the daily battle that sobriety can be.

I don’t expect them to cheer every time I mention another day alcohol-free. To them, not drinking isn’t something worth celebrating — it’s just normal behavior. But for me, every single day of sobriety is a silent triumph. It’s a testament to how far I’ve come, the strength I’ve built, and the commitment I’ve made to live a better life.

Why I Write About Sobriety

This disconnect between how sobriety feels to me and how it looks to others is one of the reasons I write about it. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. If you’ve ever felt unrecognized for overcoming your drinking habit, I want you to know that I see you.

I see how hard it is to choose sobriety every single day. I know what it’s like to feel proud of yourself, even when others don’t fully understand why. Sobriety is a battle, and if you’ve been through it, you deserve recognition for what you’ve accomplished — even if that recognition only comes from within.

Why Sober Communities Are Essential

This is also why sober communities are so important. Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) succeed because they create spaces where we can finally talk about the challenges of sobriety with people who get it.

In sober communities, saying “I didn’t drink today” isn’t met with confusion or indifference. It’s met with applause, encouragement, and understanding. These spaces allow us to share the daily struggles and triumphs that come with sobriety — the parts that people who’ve never battled addiction might not fully comprehend.

Sober communities remind us that we’re not alone. They help us feel seen and celebrated for choosing a path that, while simple in theory, is often incredibly difficult in practice.

A Quiet Revolution

Sobriety isn’t flashy. It doesn’t come with trophies or headlines. For most of us, it’s a quiet, daily revolution — one that requires immense inner strength and resilience.

If you’ve ever felt overlooked or underappreciated for overcoming your drinking habit, I want you to know that your effort matters. It’s not just about “doing what you’re supposed to do.” It’s about reclaiming your life, your health, and your sense of self. And that is worth celebrating.

I See You

Whether you’re on Day 1 or Day 971, know that I see you. I see the work you’re putting in to stay sober. I see the strength it takes to make this choice every single day. And I want you to know that you’re not alone.

Sobriety might feel ordinary to the outside world, but for those of us living it, it’s extraordinary. And it’s a journey worth sharing.

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